Being an emotional creature in this overly stimulating chapter of life has been a doozy. As much as I try to conceal the breadth of my emotional scope I am at the heart of me, a feeler. I tear up at sad videos on FB, or when Ellen gives away $25K via Shutterfly to a deserving elementary school, or when a little Black girl talks about loving her complexion. Essentially, I’m always potentially on the verge of a tear or two. Compound a constantly emotionally full cup with a touch of anxiety and you’d better be ready to put out the occasional emo-fire.
Life events over the last year and a half have been wrought with emotional triggers, like a playful match dancing around me ready to burn this whole operation down at any moment. Things like the devastating election, loss in the family, job woes, walking away from a meaningful relationship (exclusive blog post worthy), and another major move (yea, I moved again) have all posed the potential for an epic takedown, but here I am, blogging it out again lol.
I’ve observed when navigating a battlefield of emotional triggers most people react in a variation of two major ways.
They are a) stopped dead in their tracks paralyzed by the weight of it all, or b) are propelled forward like Rambo with reckless abandon.
Now, if you recall my last post ages ago on fear, I think you’ll be pleased to know I’ve been Rambo-ing it. This isn’t to say emotional explosions haven’t been avoided all together. Landmines have been tripped, but no limbs have been lost! I’ve been throwing hail-marry passes up with just seconds left on the clock and expecting them to be caught. I have honed a new practice of the work through.
Over the years I’ve realized ignoring an emotion feels like cheating to me. It feels like depriving myself of a truth inner-me feels strongly about, like trying to hide something that comes very natural. Conversely, acknowledging an emotion and validating its impact somehow allows for it to solidify and become a concrete step faster. Each little meltdown once processed and moved on from becomes a stepping-stone to emotional growth. And though I haven’t read it in any scholarly book or article yet, I’m sure this practice contributes to the conversation on emotional intelligence. I’ve embraced the idea that being emotionally intelligent gives me marketable edge. My ability to feel things fully makes me more conscious and apathetic at each new level of life. (Apathy doesn’t negate criticalness however, and that’s something I’m working on, unpacked in another blog post I’m sure…)
Anyhow, I scored a cool new job, moved to a beautiful city, and am right on track to continue growing my personal brand. It’s all been made possible by staying aware and present with how I feel and am affected by the things and people around me. A smart man once told me (repeatedly) a quote I’m sure he read of Instagram, “Autumn, It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. You get to control how you let it affect you.” Things are happening, theydo affect me deeply, I honor those feelings, and I’m powering through! Feeling pretty happy these days!